Seven positives I took away from eating disorder treatment
0
95
0
Anna Carnegie, researcher and person with lived experience of eating disorders and OCD shares her experiences of eating disorder treatment and the positives she took away from it - beyond what she had ever expected.
After unsuccessful treatment experiences in my home country, I was fortunate enough to receive high-quality care from a specialist eating disorder team here in the UK and go on to live a happy and fulfilled life beyond my eating disorder. In this blogpost, I share some of the ways in which the treatment team helped me achieve what I’d previously considered impossible. I caveat this blogpost by acknowledging that as a young, white, English speaking woman with a restrictive eating disorder, I had access to treatment that many, tragically, do not.
They challenged me - safely and compassionately - to push for real recovery and not stop part-way.
I entered treatment in a highly physically compromised state and was adamant that I would not restore weight past a (still incredibly restricted) point. Rather than enabling me - or rather, my eating disorder to remain in a medically unhealthy place - the staff worked with me patiently and kindly to restore my weight and helped me tolerate the discomfort that brought. They could have colluded with my eating disorder and let me leave treatment in a less severe but still physically compromised state. They could have returned me to a cycle of repeated treatment episodes - or worse. Instead, they supported me through the discomfort of weight gain and encouraged me to get to a place which would enable me to lead the life I wanted to.
…Whilst also recognising that recovery goes beyond weight restoration and symptom alleviation.
At the same time, they were clear that weight was not the be-all and end-all. In my previous treatment, discussions of weight targets and meal plans dominated to the exclusion of all else. This team worked in stark contrast, getting to the root of the psychological factors which were maintaining my eating disorder. I challenged my fears here too - learning to process my emotions in healthier ways and building the skills which would serve me in navigating the outside world with all its challenges. Even when it came to eating, there was a focus not so much on the food, but on the life that it enabled. Whether that was breakfast excursions to a local café to practice grabbing breakfast on-the-go, or cooking from a recipe which I could then try out with friends and family.
They role-modelled a healthy relationship with food.
My eating disorder had dominated all elements of my life for such a long time that I had lost all grip of what “normal” eating - or life - looked like. It was refreshing and educational to see staff on the unit eating meals in a carefree way, treating food as a source of pleasure and at times nostalgia (local delicacies, childhood favourites), but far from the most important thing in their days.
They saw the person behind the eating disorder presentation.
I entered treatment completely consumed by my eating disorder, to the point that there was barely anything of 'Anna' left. As treatment progressed, little sparks of my true self started to re-emerge. My treatment team saw and fostered this. For instance sharing an off-hand joke or bit of gossip, debating quality TV shows, or getting into more serious conversations about politics and the state of the world. They engaged with me on a human level, encouraging me to pursue my passions and build a self distinct from my illness.
They provided me with autonomy over the types of eating disorder treatment I received.
When I was in treatment, I was exposed to many different forms of therapy and was given the choice to test things out and choose what felt best for me. This was incredibly empowering to me and further connected me to my personal goals and motivations for recovery. I discovered new forms of therapy, like dance and movement, and worked with therapists whose approach felt aligned to mine. I didn’t feel like I had to 'fit' myself into therapies and groups which didn’t feel relevant or helpful to me.
They supported my support network.
One of the biggest things my treatment team did was show compassion and actively involve my loved ones in my treatment (with permission, of course!) Even though I was an adult when admitted to the unit, my parents were very invested in my care - travelling from Ireland most weeks to visit, backed by a wide community network who crowdfunded their travel before 'crowdfunding' became a popular term. The team recognised the extent to which my family were supporting me and took great care to involve them authentically at each stage of the process. They did not dismiss or patronise, instead my loved ones were treated with the respect and compassion they deserved. They were also invited to carers groups where they were given the space to process and share the impact that my eating disorder was having on them.
They gave me the evidence I needed to trust them.
Perhaps the most fundamental thing my treatment team did was to give me the evidence to trust in them and surrender to the recovery process. Trust in the context of eating disorders treatment is crucial. How can you be expected to take huge risks and do things that terrify you if you don’t have faith in the people guiding you. Trust has to be earned, and I certainly didn’t hold it at the beginning. But little by little, through the actions - big and small - outlined here, I learned that I could trust these people. They had my back (and those of my loved ones) and would be there with a safety net if I needed one. I remain indebted to them for the support I received and the rich and full life I am able to lead as a result.
If you would like to blog for us please drop us an email at dumpthescales@gmail.com
To find more from Anna please check out her social media channels below: